As a small child, Bower was plagued with hellish voices, fear and paranoia, and the nightmares came every night and day. It was not until he was 24 that he was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Before that it was a long sleuth of diagnoses that did not ring true. Now, at 36, his life still hangs in the balances of either calm or chaos. This blog is his way of sharing what life is like in the clutches of insanity.