Janey's Blog

I feel so alone. Beneath myself. Sad and desperate. My husband is sleeping on the couch, snoring, and all I want to do is scream for him to get up. I want to go shake him . I'm angry. I'm not angry because he is snoring, I'm just angry. I feel like I'm losing myself. this is not me. I can't find where I am. Somehow I have to keep from becoming violent. I just want to scream. I want to run through the house and throw things. I want everything to break. I want to create such a disturbance that my husband will have to get up and listen to me, not that I have much to say, but at least he would be awake. Maybe I can go pinch him and pretend i didn't. I feel like he has left me. He needs punished.