Joan of Arc's Blog

I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia in 2000 in the Army. I joined the Army because I always wanted to and at the time something was going on. I thought the Mob was after me. I thought they were speaking to me through the T.V. and Radio and they were drugging me. I did not want to be drugged anymore and I knew the Army would not let them harrass me. Plus, I wanted as far away from my family as possible so they would not be harmed. I found out it was not real in the Army. To this day though, I still go through emotions of loss, guilt, betrayal, angst, sobbing, pain, etc.. As you know. I was able to work symptom free for 3 years. And then on and off symptoms for 4 more years. Recently, the voices decided to shoot pain to various areas of my body when I disobey. Since I'm very stubborn and would rather die then do something I don't agree to, I am in pain often. This caused me to lose my job and I'm trying to get Social Security to help pay for all my counselors, psychiatrists, and everyday living. I am married, but my bills are too much right now.

Hobbies: Chess, Motorcycle riding, Scuba diving (once in a while. I have to save for it), Fishing, Canoeing, Bowling, Badmitton, writing, and listening to Positive Music. Hard/Metallic Rock.