Living With Schizophrenia

I consider myself to be a spiritual person, not a religious person. I have a real problem with dogma. I don't believe in Genesis, I don't believe God/dess told Moses it was okay to conquer people and take all the girl children who had never known a man for themselves much less to kill all the girl children who had known a man, I don't believe God/dess turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. I'm not sure I believe there ever was a Sodom and Gomorah. I don't believe in the Great Flood, or that Noah's descendants populated the Earth. (After all, who would his sons have mated with?) Personally, I believe that Moses wrote the ten commandments himself. Not that that makes them bad laws to live by, it's just that there is no commandment against lying, slavery or rape. Which, it seems like to me, that there would be, had they come from God/dess.

I believe that God/dess has a male and female aspect. The only God/dess I worship is love. I do believe God/dess is Love. The Spirit is Love.

I think the Bible is full of fiction. I believe sometimes people hallucinated God or heard the devil instead of God. I do believe in the devil. I do believe I heard him call me a "sh*thead" and "sh*t for brains." I don't believe he's capable of doing more then talking to people inside their heads, but still he orchestrates wars, racism, and rape. All of those things are anathema to my God/dess. I don't understand why people would worship the devil. He doesn't create; he only destroys through others. I don't understand the romanticized notion that he's a gambler who makes bets. I don't believe he's in charge of Hell, like most people do.

I read an interesting anecdote once that described Hell as a vast desert. In charge of the water was a ten foot tall black angel who wouldn't give water to anyone in Hell unless they asked, nicely, for water. I believe that rapists, child molesters and serial murderers end up there. I believe you have to do something seriously evil to end up there. I believe that angel is God. I don't believe that people who commit suicide or refuse to atone for their "sins" end up there. Rape and child molestation is a more serious offense than a "sin." I honestly believe that God/dess hates rape and sexual abuse. There is no rape in Heaven, or the Summerland, as the Wiccans refer to it. I firmly believe that child abuse is a sin. I don't think God meant for us to hit our kids. If you look at what Solomon said more objectively then just believing it because it is in the Bible, you'll see that most of it is nonsense. Jesus never hit kids.

I believe God/dess has helped build all the great societies in the world today. Our leaders no longer kill their subjects (with certain rare exceptions). Christianity made murder wrong. Wicca is trying to outlaw violence in any form, and if you think about it Jesus was a pacifist. He never struck anyone. Not even Peter, whom He referred to as "Satan." I also like shamanism. Jesus followed a classic shamanic path to enlightenment. In my humble opinion, the only thing worth listening to in the Bible is what Jesus said, and anything that promotes civil rights and respect for the Earth.

I believe God/dess has many names. God/dess has been there for people since the dawn of time. I believe God/dess will answer to any name you give him or her. That's why it seems like there are so many different gods. God/dess has communicated with people in various ways. I respect people that talk to their ancestors. I believe firmly in life after death, and that the dead can hear the thoughts of the living. I believe they can even communicate with the living if God/dess allows it. I believe those ancestors are what the Christians call angels. Most people become angels when they die.

I believe love is everywhere.

I don't understand all the conflict, really. I don't understand rigid dogma. I don't understand why certain religions believe they have all the answers. There are many paths to finding love.
In my opinion, friendship is peace. They are one and the same. We have to appreciate the love and peace in our lives. In spite of all the violence today, it is still a less violent world then it used to be. I don't believe in Revelations. I don't believe the world is going to end like that. I believe science, that the world is going end when the sun novas. I don't really understand the conflict between science and religion. Science proved the concept of sacred spirals. We have them in our DNA, in our solar systems, in our molecules and atoms. Scientists wonder what dark matter is. I say it is Spirit. We have miracle drugs now because of science. God/dess even works through scientists.

Many people base their religion on the premise that God/dess is perfect. I don't believe this either. I believe God/dess makes mistakes. Our genes have defects. Only an imperfect God could create defective genes, like those that cause schizophrenia and other diseases. I think it's amazing a living being could create genes in the first place. Why does God/dess have to be perfect to create life? I think God/dess is like us in that way, S/he strives for progress not perfection. Life is amazing enough, why should life be perfect? There is no doubt in my mind that there is a living God/dess in our universe.

I swear I heard God/dess tell me "We miss you up in Heaven." It was the most beautiful, gender-neutral voice I've ever heard. It might have been a hallucination, but I doubt it. To me, this is proof that God/dess can talk to people, if S/he wants to.

I find myself wondering about demons and casting them out. Is it true that Jesus worked with the mythology of the day when He healed people? Are demons and bacteria or viruses the same thing? The truth will prevail. People did not and would not have believed in tiny "bugs" back then. If the devil himself was talking, people would have heard demons talking. I don't believe that the devil has an army of "spirits" at his command.

I am an ordained priestess. I refer to myself as a bard, as I sing, write poetry and occasionally song lyrics, and play the drum. I'm rather fond of shamanism, or more specifically Celtic Shamanism or druidry. I follow Martin Luther King Jr.'s example. I use my spirituality to promote civil rights for kids and adults alike. I believe that God's will is for a more civil world without so much oppression. Racism is not only practiced by white people (in other countries, it's different). White people are people of color, too. Me personally, I consider myself to be red, white, and blue. I have red lips, blue eyes and "white" skin. I am very colorful. So, in my opinion, referring to non-caucasian people as people of color is not very politically correct. I think that people need to keep in mind that caucasians have tribes too. Certain tribes are more warlike and more responsible, in ancient history, for wars between races. I'm not Anglo-Saxon, and it isn't my tribe who is trying to make every country a piece of the UK. I'm not Spanish, whatever tribe they are, and it wasn't my tribe that conquered the modern day U.S.. I'm predominantly Celtic American, to be p.c. about it, and about one quarter Frank.

I believe dogma has done more harm then good. Some people hate the "perfect" vengeful creature that the Bible has made God out to be. In my experience, God/dess is very forgiving except of sexual predators. I believe that God/dess particularly hates those who prey on children. Hate is a natural emotion. Many people believe hate and love to be opposites, yet they can coexist. To me, therefore, they can't be opposites. This would explain the vengeance that Goddesses like Kali and Hecate show. There are some things that God finds intolerable.

Spirit does not look like us, either, so saying that we were created in God's image has to be false. Spirit is pure energy.

Many people like me don't believe in God/dess. To me atheists are as hard to hang around with as fundamentalist Christians. If you look around, you'll find that life is just too abundant and varied just to have happened out of nothing. The universe is just too orderly. I think the premise that God/dess is perfect has driven more people away from God/dess and love, then any other premise. Obviously, the creation is not perfect. Wouldn't perfection create more perfection? "Nobody is perfect" comes from God/dess and S/he includes him or herself. That doesn't mean that love should not rule. Why do we constantly seek perfection in our leaders. Love is a process and a state of mind. It can save your life. Love is about civil rights and respect, including respect for our environment.

One should not just assume the world is going to end, therefore we don't have to try to make it a better place. Revelations was not written in stone.