WAGblog

Last Doomsday Entry

I promise not to write any more about this, one because it scares people, or scares ME at any rate, and two, because I know that certain agencies would NOT want me to talk about it openly. Notice how NO ONE is discussing it on the news? It's not because it isn't true, it's because they've been ordered not to do so, to avoid causing mass panic among people who can't do anything about it anyhow. We KNOW Bush and Cheney will try to save themselves, by holing up underground for years, with stockpiles of food and dibs on any food produced above ground (in the fertile winters, when there is not a drought). Ditto a lot of very wealthy people, who will move from Greenwich and Miami and Manhattan and other lowlying coastal developments inland, stockpile food and water, and...Well, you see the picture. But no one is telling us, because we can't do anything to escape, if there is any escape, which I do not think there is. To avoid mass panic and social chaos. So people like me become a liability and have to be shut up, by hook or by crook...You know their various methods. So I will not continue in this vein, as I treasure my freedom, and I also do not wish to frighten folks who should not be made frightened.

I do have one poem I wrote in that regard, however, and then I will cease and desist:

POEM WRITTEN DURING THE WARMEST JANUARY ON RECORD IN HARTFORD, CT

I’m fearful in this warming world
certain of calamity as of sunrise,
nearly as next. In what chapter,
on what page of the book of our species
are we but the last, where the tragic-
comic-mystery-thriller-romance ends?
Bang, whimper, pfft, rebel yell – how
we go is anybody’s guess but
it’s all the same good-bye, “God be with you”
without meaning perhaps even to those
who once believed with God all things
were possible. Not this, not stopping
what we’ve started in Antarctica,
in the Siberian permafrost...

Oh, let’s
not think of what can’t be helped.
We must live as if meaning means
and matters, or eat, drink and be merry.
The ending is not yet written,
only proposed. A hero may yet appear.
A hero may yet appear to save our day.

(I know that "Oh let's" in going to appear at the beginning of its line, but it is meant to appear far to the right, starting the line above the word "helped")

As far as other things go, Joe is doing well enough. He went to an Econmic Development meeting at the Town Council and used his computer voice, which they loved and applauded him for. (They all know he has ALS and have been supportive, but he has wondered how long he could continue to work for them without a voice.) He is still not using it otherwise, but we need to get him to practice using it on the phone, which is where many people cannot understand him. He needs to have the confidence to be able to make his own phone calls just so he doesn't feel too dependent just yet. He also bought a transfer chair to use in the shower, so he doesn't have to step over the tub, but can slide along the chair right into the tub and sit there while he showers. So far he has refused a handheld shower, but when he can't stand up, he may need one.

My brother and his family are visiting here on Sunday morning. I haven't seen them in months as they live in North Carolina. I have made up a crafts kit for the teenaged girls (who like that sort of thing) -- this year a soap-making project, with scent, herbal additives, coloring and seashell molds to make lovely little handsoaps for their use or for presents. Then that afternoon, I go with Karen to the theatre for the first time in 26 years. We will be seeing CHICAGO, the musical, with a Broadway cast. I do not know this musical but I hear it is terrific. We have very good seats; somehow Karen managed to get them for very little money. I think they are handicapped seats that she qualified for and I am going as her companion. I feel weird about her doing that, as she can walk fine without crutches or a wheelchair or even a cane and drives a car perfectly! But she IS eligible; her SSDI is for physical handicaps. So it is legit, though I dunno if I would do it. Maybe I would...You never know. So anyhow, Sunday is going to be jam-packed, and afterwards she wants to go out to supper, but I may draw the line at that, plead utter exhaustion, as I dunno if I can keep going for that long a time. From 10am or earlier when my brother comes, until 5pm when the show is over is long enough! I decided to drive us, just so I would not be held captive in the car if she insisted on stopping, as I once was when we went to do errands...Luckily it is not very far away.

I probably won't write on Sat and Sun this week, unless I feel inspired. I'm taking Kate's advice and giving us all some time off! BD

Posted by pamwagg at January 12, 2007 10:32 PM