April 17, 2004
Zen
Minimum must do the maximum. A sentence I repeat often in relation to my sons medications.
From my own personal experience having watched him through five different medicines I have seen that his threshold lies somewhere in between when most symptoms disappear and there are manageable side effects.
As soon as the dose goes up to remove the still lingering symptoms there are huge payoffs to be made in terms of the side effects and the medicines have to be changed once again.
So each time the medicines are switched I pray let the minimum do the maximum.
Very Zen and so is my life.
Gone are the parties and socializing,gone are the fears of lack of money and a frantic search for more,gone are feelings of ennui and lack of direction, the friends are few yet true,the family is closer than ever before.There is less time to talk and more to express in all other ways.
Each moment is precious and there is little time to waste on frivolities and negativities.Forgiveness comes easier and it doesnt occur to criticize others.
Stoic yes but not solemn.
For at the "lowest" ebb of my life I embarked on the most elevating journey.
Posted by Monica at April 17, 2004 12:15 PM
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Dear Monica,
I read your blog this evening and I was so moved by your writings. You said; "For at the "lowest" ebb of my life I embarked on the most elevating journey."
I understand that statement. I too have been brought down to my knees by my daughter's illness. The word schizophrenia used to fill me with fear and terror. Now that word is part of my life and my sweet daughter who has always been a light in my life. I struggle to find new meaning in suffering and pain. Mostly my daughter's pain. Why was she chosen to lead this life. I don't have an answer but I'm certain that out of this illness something good will come from it. I know my creator would not want me to be unhappy, depressed and filled with despair. I can't help my daughter or my family when I go down that road. Everyday I strife to find some happiness. I find it in my family ... planting and laboring in my garden ..... my newfound passion for knitting .... discovering the goodness in people and then there are my animals.
Each day is no longer taken for granted, especially when I see my daughter struggling to grow in spite of all her handicaps.
Moeder
Posted by: Moeder at April 18, 2004 09:00 AM
Dear Monica,
I read your blog this evening and I was so moved by your writings. You said; "For at the "lowest" ebb of my life I embarked on the most elevating journey."
I understand that statement. I too have been brought down to my knees by my daughter's illness. The word schizophrenia used to fill me with fear and terror. Now that word is part of my life and my sweet daughter who has always been a light in my life. I struggle to find new meaning in suffering and pain. Mostly my daughter's pain. Why was she chosen to lead this life. I don't have an answer but I'm certain that out of this illness something good will come from it. I know my creator would not want me to be unhappy, depressed and filled with despair. I can't help my daughter or my family when I go down that road. Everyday I strife to find some happiness. I find it in my family ... planting and laboring in my garden ..... my newfound passion for knitting .... discovering the goodness in people and then there are my animals.
Each day is no longer taken for granted, especially when I see my daughter struggling to grow in spite of all her handicaps.
Moeder
Posted by: Moeder at April 18, 2004 09:00 AM
I have been moved by this site and the storys i have read, sitting here im thinking thats me there talking about,
having struggled to cope with my son's schizophrenia for the past 5 years, the toll it takes on the family, my heart goes out to everyone who suffers from the illness and all there family members for we too suffer often n silence,
as a mother said "if only i could donate my brain" i feel the same. my son now 19 has suffered all his teenage life and every relapse see's his illness progress i live and pray every day that maybe this medication will be the one.
god bless you all my prayers are with you.
Posted by: moe at April 24, 2004 01:31 AM
please smeone help me my boyfriend has schizophrenia and its hard to understand i love him so much but he always thinks the worst of me
Posted by: tracy at September 28, 2005 01:10 PM
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Dear Monica,
I read your blog this evening and I was so moved by your writings. You said; "For at the "lowest" ebb of my life I embarked on the most elevating journey."
I understand that statement. I too have been brought down to my knees by my daughter's illness. The word schizophrenia used to fill me with fear and terror. Now that word is part of my life and my sweet daughter who has always been a light in my life. I struggle to find new meaning in suffering and pain. Mostly my daughter's pain. Why was she chosen to lead this life. I don't have an answer but I'm certain that out of this illness something good will come from it. I know my creator would not want me to be unhappy, depressed and filled with despair. I can't help my daughter or my family when I go down that road. Everyday I strife to find some happiness. I find it in my family ... planting and laboring in my garden ..... my newfound passion for knitting .... discovering the goodness in people and then there are my animals.
Each day is no longer taken for granted, especially when I see my daughter struggling to grow in spite of all her handicaps.
Moeder
Posted by: Moeder at April 18, 2004 09:00 AM
Dear Monica,
I read your blog this evening and I was so moved by your writings. You said; "For at the "lowest" ebb of my life I embarked on the most elevating journey."
I understand that statement. I too have been brought down to my knees by my daughter's illness. The word schizophrenia used to fill me with fear and terror. Now that word is part of my life and my sweet daughter who has always been a light in my life. I struggle to find new meaning in suffering and pain. Mostly my daughter's pain. Why was she chosen to lead this life. I don't have an answer but I'm certain that out of this illness something good will come from it. I know my creator would not want me to be unhappy, depressed and filled with despair. I can't help my daughter or my family when I go down that road. Everyday I strife to find some happiness. I find it in my family ... planting and laboring in my garden ..... my newfound passion for knitting .... discovering the goodness in people and then there are my animals.
Each day is no longer taken for granted, especially when I see my daughter struggling to grow in spite of all her handicaps.
Moeder
Posted by: Moeder at April 18, 2004 09:00 AM
I have been moved by this site and the storys i have read, sitting here im thinking thats me there talking about,
having struggled to cope with my son's schizophrenia for the past 5 years, the toll it takes on the family, my heart goes out to everyone who suffers from the illness and all there family members for we too suffer often n silence,
as a mother said "if only i could donate my brain" i feel the same. my son now 19 has suffered all his teenage life and every relapse see's his illness progress i live and pray every day that maybe this medication will be the one.
god bless you all my prayers are with you.
Posted by: moe at April 24, 2004 01:31 AM
please smeone help me my boyfriend has schizophrenia and its hard to understand i love him so much but he always thinks the worst of me
Posted by: tracy at September 28, 2005 01:10 PM