May 09, 2004
Slow down
Slow down and take a deep breath...count eight in and count ten out...it is calming.I need to do this often for some days are invariably "frazzled" watching my son moving reslessly,pacing ,making quick circles... into one door out of another,it is is dizzying to an observer.
I understand it all yet need to slow down myself so I close my eyes and count my breath.Do not get entangled into his movements and thoughts just watch like a disinterested observer.
He is speaking more and I dont know what was better his quietness or his lucidity.The entire household is on red alert and some time is spent in explaining to the rest on how to deal with his demands.
1.Do not give choices ...he is ambivalent and it confuses him.
2.Once he asks for something, provided it is a reasonable request...do it even though he may call behind cancelling it.
3.Be clear and predicatable in your planning...unpredicability upsets him.
4.Do not shout or be loud.
5.Do not pose the dreaded Why? to any of his queries instead couch it in the gentler-- what makes you ...what is it about...etc etc.
6.Make all movements gentle and graceful.
7.Use silence when posed with impossible to answer questions.
8.Present reality but gently
9.Encourage comparisons especially when dealing with feelings.
10.Above all reiterate that you are there for him.
And do slow down and take a deep breath.
Posted by Monica at May 9, 2004 05:58 AM
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May your Mothers Day be calm and low key Monica,from one Mom to another.Yes,with med working somewhat we question what was better the silence or the questions.No easy answers,we must take each day yes slowly.I sometimes slip back and remember the well son,full of energy and ready to tackle anything,trying everything.I used to call him "My Free Spirit" when people would ask about our three sons.I can't stay long in those memories because its reality I must focus Those days are long gone and just that the past.Its baby steps now being 53 yrs. old somedays its all I can do.Go to your destiny red.
Posted by: red at May 9, 2004 04:06 PM
Happy Mother's day! You are a wonderful mother.
hugs and love,
survivor
Posted by: survivor at May 9, 2004 06:32 PM
happy belated mothers day! you are the nicest mom on the earth! i love u. take care of yourself along with your son. love. puzli
Posted by: puzli at May 10, 2004 01:55 PM
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May your Mothers Day be calm and low key Monica,from one Mom to another.Yes,with med working somewhat we question what was better the silence or the questions.No easy answers,we must take each day yes slowly.I sometimes slip back and remember the well son,full of energy and ready to tackle anything,trying everything.I used to call him "My Free Spirit" when people would ask about our three sons.I can't stay long in those memories because its reality I must focus Those days are long gone and just that the past.Its baby steps now being 53 yrs. old somedays its all I can do.Go to your destiny red.
Posted by: red at May 9, 2004 04:06 PM
Happy Mother's day! You are a wonderful mother.
hugs and love,
survivor
Posted by: survivor at May 9, 2004 06:32 PM
happy belated mothers day! you are the nicest mom on the earth! i love u. take care of yourself along with your son. love. puzli
Posted by: puzli at May 10, 2004 01:55 PM