Living in Chaos: Survival

School = Stress = Instability...

OH the agony....... Well, it is officially week four of David's night classes. He is doing well in his intro to business class, he got a 82 on his first quiz... he had his first history test last week... Accounting is a nightmare. I had my doubts about the amount of homework for this course when he signed up for it, but Gene was for it, David was interested, and I did not want to be the nay-sayer.....

I know accounting. I have a degree and my CPA. I can explain the information, but The homework is increasingly overwhelming in quantity with each passing week. I do not think there is a way around this. Last week was rough to get through the homework. Yesterday was two hours of H*LL and he finally finished one problem. He has class this evening, and has one more problem to do. This problem is very detailed. basically opening the books for a new business, the opening transactions, the adjusting entries, the financials for that month, the closing entries...then repeat the process for the next month. he has reached mental overload and paranoia/explosiveness. I hate this illness. I think I am ready to have Gene talk to him about the realities of being unable to do this level of a course for now, drop the class and eat the $$. Education is not worth peace!

Right now David is in the other room telling me that he hates liars, he does not like people who are liars... but he in incapable of accepting help. The minute I try to explain anything, he explodes verbally...

Stability does not mean cured! There are limitations. I wonder even being stable if a college degree is in David's future? Oh well. Thanks for letting me vent... Tomorrow is another day. Technically, though the problem is due tonight, he has until next week to turn it in. maybe we'll try one more week.

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Terrified�

Have you ever watched a rabbit when it knows it has been seen�
When the danger bells are sounding with alarm�
When he stops within that instant, and he hopes to disappear
Freezing, in that moment, locked within his fear

Or that deer caught in the headlights look, fleeing through his eyes
When arrested there in time he cannot breathe
Staring, yet unseeing, undetectable to self
His heart in shredded terror on his sleeve

When a petrified event is the juncture of his mind
Suspended from ability to think
Where his reason flown away, lays deserted in the quay
Drowning in a well of bilious ink

Overwhelmed and overstressed, he is overcome with grief
Stationary, still, immobilized
Traumatized he cannot move, shocked by disbelief
And you watch his spirit shrivel up and die?

The helplessness is heartbreaking�

Posted by TwoSons at September 14, 2004 09:47 PM | TrackBack