So young, so innocent

Stressed out

Brandon is being discharged by the end of the week. They have not started him on an antipsychotic bc they don't feel it is necessary. Brandon told me yesterday that he was hearing things again and he also told me that he was not ready to come home. I told him to talk to the doc today and he didn't.
I got his medical records, at least what is done and in the computer. There are so many errors and it does not make sense at all. I had my friend, who is a psychologist review them and she said they were the worst written evals she has ever seen. They don't make sense. And there is a comment in there that I want Brandon to be ill. I don't think so! If I could take this away from him I would! I am sick of all the docs and therapists and OT, and school meetings, why would I want to do this? I don't want to do it any more, but I have to. I am taking the records with me in the morning and asking them to edit them.
They want Brandon to go to day treatment, but when I asked them about objectives for this and she said not to start new meds. Well, maybe I don't want to waste the rest of his summer in day treatment, where they are not going to do anything any way. I am planning on telling them if they think that Brandon needs day treatment, then arrange it at the other hospital, otherwise he is coming home with me. I do not want him there anymore. They are making me out to be crazy!
Just now, I got a call from my brother from VA. He is flying in tomorrow and asked if he could stay the night. I look around my house right now and it is trashed. I have not had the time or energy to pick up anything since the crisis started. Brandon's stuff is all over the place and I have dishes to do, not to mention washing sheets. I think I am starting to go crazy! I hope I get somewhere with the hospital. I am just worried they are going to try to take it to CPS bc I am not excepting there placement recommendations. I don't really care anymore. At least I know the CPS worker and she understands kids like mine.