So young, so innocent

Home again, another break

Brandon came home on Thursday, with my insisting. He is only on Lithium and his vitamins. We have an appointment on Tuesday with a new doctor, one whom is famous in our county. I really hope it helps.
Everything was going semi ok until tonight. I caught him in the constrution area with the kid that is a bully to him and he is definately not a good influence. I grounded him for the rest of the weekend. He was walking around like he had a major attitude without saying much. When we got inside he started crying and saying how dumb he is and that he should'nt be alive. He then went and said theat he is hearing things and started flipping out bc he had to lock all the doors bc someone was going to get him. He keeps saying I'm not safe. After he locked everything he ran upstairs and started crying uncontrolably. He was rocking and could not talk. He then said that he needed to go back into the hospital, and I do not want to repeat that mess again.
Now I am sitting here baffled bc he seemed fine, except for irritablity and a lot of frustration. Now we come to this point again, where we are stuck ing the same place as we were before. Only this time he seems worse with the paranoia. He has never had it to this extreme. I suppose that all the antipsychotics have worn off by now and are completely out of his system. He also has not eaten today. He keeps telling me that he is not hungry and I made him eat something little so he could take his meds.
He is in his room now, hopefully calming down and maybe reality will set in again. I don't know what to think anymore. We will see what tomorrow brings and hopefully the doc that we see Tuesday will restore our hope. I also put in an application for the Hope Fund at Pfeiffer. I am hoping that we can get that bc I don't have the funds to get him evaluated. We need something, anything that will help him. And the school year is drawing near and I am afraid for him. We will see. I hope we can have a better school year this year. He so badly needs to have some normalcy in his life.