So young, so innocent

Child Protection-I feel betrayed

I know it has been a long time since I wrote. We all know what the hospital did when Brandon was there. I got his records from the hospital last week and they reported me to CPS. It was not until I went to the hospital to see and copy his whole chart that I knew their opinion.

The hospital said that I have Munchausen's By Proxy and are upset as well that I did not follow up with their plan after discharge. They wanted his to go to RTC or Day Tx. I could see no point in this.

I had an appointment 5 days after his discharge with a new doctor. This doctor has been our angel. He listened and understood. He resumed antipsychotic medication and he began to do a little bit better. He was started on Zyprexa and also started Fish Oil. His aggression was none existant except he hit his para on the fourth day of school and he got in school suspention for a day. After two weeks he had gained 13 pounds and his Triglycerides shot up to 135. There was no question that he needed to get off of that. He was then put on Risperdal and he is doing so well. It only lasts for about 8 hours, but nothing is as bad as before. He is doing well in school and has lost 6 pounds his first week after the d/c of the medication and a diet plan that cuts down on portion size and fat.

As far as I am concerned, why would he be getting better and doing so well in school if I was making him ill? I hope they see the evidence that I present as proof that I am a good parent. I have been so scared since talking to a friend that has had this issue in a different state. They took her son away 6 years ago and she has yet to get him back, or any control over his care. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with the CPS worker. I feel that I have enough ammo for this, but the thought still comes in my head that they may take my baby tomorrow. I don't know what I would do or even how Brandon would do and how he would react. This could kill us. I am thankful that his new doctor will stand behind us and I have a couple therapists that will do the same. I have also put a call into the doc he saw before the U and am asking him for his support as well. He is the same doc that Brandon had in RTC last summer.

I have become so numb right now. I feel like a robot on automatic pilot. I feel I cannot trust anyone anymore except his new doc. Brandon is going to respite this weekend so I will have a chance to recover. I was lucky enough to find a respite that is actually a camp for kids with issues. We will see what happens tomorrow. Until then I suffer the agonizing thoughts of what could happen. Please pray for us as I feel we need as much help as we can get. Thanks.

Posted by brandonsmom at September 21, 2005 02:33 PM