The Joy of Madness

I'm looking for a new job

I quit my job. I became quite depressed in October as I had removed the antidepressants, it began to get dark (Fall) and my hormones were screwed up due to the poly cystic ovaries. I returned to the clinic I had been going to 14 years ago. I feel good there. They gave me lithobid, lexapro, abilify, and a neurologist gave me Klonipin. I feel sleepy during the day; but am able to laugh a good deal of the time. I feel at a loss now because I don't have a passtime. Sometimes people are able to do things with me. Mostly I'm wondering what I can do for a living. I'm short on skills. Marketable ones anyhow.

I'm considering starting a paralegal course in January. I am due to go to Valley Employment Services soon to see what they say is right for me. This service is only for the clients in the community mental health network.

Today I had fun. My Mom and I went to the Getty and saw a few photo exhibits. They were funny photos as they reminded us of our family snapshots from the 40's to the 60's. I really needed a good laugh. On the way to the museum my mom mentioned that I could possibly get work at the red cross next door to me and I told her that they wanted a disaster coordinator and she said well your a disaster and you know how to get coordinated! It really kind of stung at first. But now it is kind of funny. Sometimes I feel defeated by her because she has this way of telling me what she thinks I wouldn't be good at. She once told me that I was a bird who had learned to fly with no wings. That is kind of beautiful. I used to drag myself when i was learning to crawl.

I finally saw the first half of Angels in America. I couldn't bring myself to watch the second DVD because of my depression. It was an excellent film and I want to see the rest of it. There were a few mentally ill people in the movie. I thought the part where Merryl Streep's character demands that the Schiz. woman snap out of her psychosis was funny. She actually snapped out of it for a few seconds. One character has agorophobia and takes too much valium. It was good. I reccomend it.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at November 12, 2004 05:08 AM | TrackBack