Friday December 3, 2004
All of a sudden things are looking up. This morning I was very sad; but then things started to change. I had my meds delivered and I took a paxil. But really what changed was when I talked to friends and also when I checked my e-mail. I am helping plan a holiday party for this region for Project Return members. Each member gets a gift and a meal. Wednesday I have a party at a Schizophrenics Anonymous meeting. That same day I am having lunch with an old friend. We say we went to high school together; but in fact we went to day treatment together. We say we learned a lot there. That was in 1992. Monday I'm supposed to go have my blood drawn to measure the Lithium in my blood. But it's one of these cattle calls. I walked in there last Monday and I turned and left. I hadn't packed a meal. Tomorrow, Saturday I'm supposed to see a movie with a friend. Sunday I think my friend wants to go to the Found magazine.com party in Melrose. I hope it works out. I have a couple of items I found that I want to take them. Maybe I could help my stepmom decorate the Christmas tree tomorrow instead of Sunday. I also kind of promised a friend that I would help her pack Sunday; but I can't if I go to this party. I have a party at my Mom's on the 11th. She makes Pozole. The gifts for giving party might be the 10th. I see my therapist on the 9th. That same day I go to a medical dr.
I really need to find a job. I guess if I don't have a paycheck by January or the promise of one I will have to move back home with my mom. I can't get too comfortable here in my apartment. I don't have a Christmas tree. That is a luxury. I am having a hard time physically because of the hormones. I am quite tired, have been in pain, and have been depressed. I think I will get it straightened out at the dr.'s though. Hopefully Paxil will remove some of this anxiety. I have real reasons for the anxiety; but then I take it a step too far. I applied for Homes For Life, a housing foundation for the m.i. pop.
I must buy some more seeds for the pidgeons that come to my balcony. I hope my plans work out. I need people to drag me out.
Posted by Butterfly Emerging at December 3, 2004 11:27 PM
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