The Joy of Madness

Just nod if you can hear me.

I went to the studio apartment last Monday and first off there was this big ol gangbanger on the second floor blasting out the song computer love. That was the first clue. The place was very tiny also. So no go on that 625 studio.

I am still trying to get funding to finish my B.A. in English. I am applying for community worker with county mental health. It pays 12.75 per hr. I have also sent out resumes to other places. I am not really having pain anymore. I am quite relieved.

I must call Texas to see how my step-mom is doing. My family is not staying in touch with me about her.

Victor snuck back in somehow. He just showed up one night with his stuff. He can't stay away. So I am trying to find a one bedroom we can move to. He was due to get mental health services at UCLA; but doesn't remember when the appointment is.

My friend has a psychiatrist through the hospital she gets day treatment at. She says he never wants to look at her in the eyes. He kind of holds up his hand to his forehead like she is too shiny and he is keeping off the glare. He also rubs his bald head a lot. Does this man need drugs? He does this behavior with all his patients apparently. I told her to get a new dr. and she says she bargained with him to give her clonipin. or is it klonipin? Anyway he has her on 5-6 meds. He never took her off some antidepressants that never worked for her. He just kept adding things. I think he is a quack. I told her to ask the day treatment staff to advocate for her because they observe her all the time and can tell the dr. that she is overly sedated. I have been there. You become so groggy on the drugs that you don't even know that you are in slow motion.

What do you do if you see a mom hitting their child in public? I saw a mom and probably the grandma hitting a girl who might have been two or three. The girl even started hitting them back. They were at the bus stop. I honestly felt helpless.

I went to the monthly meeting downtown today and sat through a long drawn out lesson on a forced treatment law being proposed in California. They assumed that we are against it. They did not really present the facts pro and con. They kept repeating that they stand for choice and voluntary treatment. They are trying to impose forced outpatient treatment. That is kind of what I gathered. I need to do more research on it. Some people at the california network of mental health clients spoke out in favor of the proposition stating that some people are in grave danger and are in denial about their need for treatment. To me that is obvious by looking at the homeless population in California. It is quite large here. I did not write postcards to lawmakers opposing the law. They asked everyone to do it. I know from personal experience that a tricky shot of Haldol in the rear end is the best medicine when someone won't take their medicine. I needed that. I haven't been around to see the Camarillos that my friends have seen where they put you in restraints and solitary confinement. I have a friend who was there and was in solitary a lot and won't go sit inside a movie theater because she has claustrophobia. I am happy that I never had to suffer through unwanted shock treatments. But knowing that there is this terrible dark history that is not that far gone does not make me think we should allow people to die on the cold streets of L.A. due to someone else requesting freedom. Suicide is a crime last I heard and the homeless are prone to violent crime and diseases that can lead to an early death.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at June 25, 2006 04:27 AM