The Joy of Madness

Writing is the best medicine

I am writing again. Sometimes I feel like I write too often here.
I am having the pain again today and won't be able to go out with Wendy today. She wanted to visit a thrift store that we had gone to last Tuesday.

I will go get medicine for the pain tomorrow. I must wait around for a grocery delivery until maybe noon and then I can go. My mom wants to see a movie this weekend and Will wants to visit too. My mom wants to see "Half Nelson" and it just opened here today. I would like to meet Will downtown to see an art film. They have a theater that has lots of choices down there.

On Monday Fardin is visiting to have coffee. He will bring donuts.

I will have to go take my boss some paperwork sometime before Tuesday. I haven't told her that I won't be doing the next meeting. I am going to be on vacation. I feel a bit bad that the club is meeting at a restaurant and I won't be there. I won't be able to make it to Hollywood on Wednesday either. I have only missed one meeting in three or four months though.

Will visited on Thursday. He was here on time and we went to Salsa and Beer a little Mexican cafe. We had a good time. He informed me that he doesn't know if he wants kids or not and if it happens it happens. He said he might want to adopt. He is unsure about whether or not to go to a job interview in D.C. at Lockheed doing computer work. He said that I should convince him to stay here. That I should give him a reason to stay. He is going to have his credential renewed for teaching adult school soon and can at least sub if not get a regular position. I am not going to agree to moving to the east coast with him. D.C. is 300 miles from the house he is inheriting and I don't want to live in D.C. I lived where you get snowed in and it really makes me depressed to be in that climate.

After the restaurant we went to Lake Balboa and he thought it was beautiful. There weren't a lot of people because it was Wednesday evening and they close at sunset. So we walked a bit and looked at birds and dogs. They have a waterfall and a brook there and that makes it peaceful. After that we went to A Barnes and Nobles and he looked at computer manuals mostly and I just browsed the 3 for $10 sections.

I told him to finish his B.A. since he is 24 units away from it. He would like to get into real estate investments. Perhaps he could buy a fourplex or a small building and live in one unit and get income from the others.

We discussed him living here again and he decided that he would like to rearrange the furniture a bit. He has a cat and they don't allow pets here. Also, he is nocturnal. He likes to stay up late and watch t.v. or hear talk radio. With any lights on at night I can't sleep because my apartment is like a one room apartment with two stories. So he said he could get those wireless headphones that allow you to listen to the t.v. and he could listen to the radio by headphones too. He said he doesn't know what kind of credit he has so they might not allow him to live here if it looks bad. He is going to check his credit. Things are moving slowly and he seems like he needs direction. I need direction too.

On the upside though he said that he could fix my refrigerator door since it is opening in the opposite direction that it needs to. It is quite awkward now. He said he would give me a bookcase because he thought I should have another one. He said he would pay for cable if he moves in.

I don't know if I already said this but a book I am reading says that we are born with some illnesses and others come on by not forgiving. Either we don't forgive ourselves or we don't forgive someone else. I found that hard to accept; but it resonates with truth. So I am thinking that I must above all else forgive myself. That is the hardest part I think.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at September 1, 2006 09:22 PM