The Joy of Madness

Foggy brained

I am foggy brained today. I stayed at my mom's house last night. We went to the movie Half Nelson and then she asked if I wanted to get my swimsuit and pajamas and go to her house. We went out to dinner at this New Orleans style restaraunt called Les Sisters and it was really tasty. I had Jambalya. I have left overs and will have it at dinner. Later we went in the jacuzzi because the pool cooled down too much by sunset. It was 107 in my area yesterday.

The movie was good but a bit darker than I had expected. Sometimes you can be surprised by that. The teacher is on drugs and teaches in a rough New York school. Interspersed as history reports given by students is film footage of different civil rights gains and losses over the past I guess 50 years or so. Before the movie we had gone to a cafe and gotten a coffee and the owner asked us to return after the movie to let him know how it was; but we didn't return.

I got a call from Petco and they want to interview me. I am going to call today or tomorrow. I decided that it doesn't hurt to try something new. Animals are so good for me. They train you in pet grooming. I have to look at bus routes to see how to get there quickly.

Will, well I don't know. Actually I think I vascillate too much. I don't want to be wishy washy anymore about him. He is far too casual about the whole relationship and is really pushing living here. It is too soon for that and is inappropriate. He still doesn't have a home phone and only uses a pre-paid cell phone which he routinely lets expire. So the only way he can reach me is by e-mail or by calling from his pc and he rarely calls. So screw it man. He said we could get together today and he flaked. I told him I would meet him in L.A. at a flea market and he said that would be a couple of buses and that was not going to happen. He wrote and said he might get to come out in the late afternoon by bus; but had to remodel houses with his brother-in-law today. What a creep. He had me buy dinner and I then explained that I am not rich. He seemed stunned. I said that I am a pauper. Then I had to explain what that is. He thought I should buy him a newspaper at Barnes and Nobles. Why do I owe him? He gets here and complains about the long distance he must drive to see me for an hour or so. I think he might expect to be a kept man. A 46 year old man should be ready for more of a committment than simply cohabitation.

I am supposed to see Fardin tomorrow for coffee here at my house; but I can't do the dishes because my sink is broken again. I am going to see if we can go out instead. They are not even going to check it until Tuesday. I am also supposed to go shopping with Wendy in the afternoon and want to invite another friend to join us. We are going to a store with plus size clothing; but Wendy is a tiny person and will just be there to help me choose items. She lives quite near this store so it will be convenient.

I am still taking the Abilify and am playing around with the time of day to take it. I am wondering if this stuff sedates me and if I should take it at bedtime. I have been sedated for a major portion of the day and I don't think it is caused by the Lexapro which I take in the morning. I see the dr. on the 11th. So after that no more Abilify. I am back to sleeping 10 hours a night. That is what I seem to need. Thank god there is no more of that insomnia I was having.

I will get my mom to drive me to the pharmacy on Tuesday to pick up the hormones and motrin. We will go on the way out of town to go camping. There is a nice creek there to hike to at the campground. We will go to a town nearby to shop and eat. We will either go to Solvang or to Santa Barbara.

My mom lent me a video called What's Cooking?, which I might watch today. It looks lighthearted.

I read this thing in the New York Times book section today about a book about Schizophrenia that proposes the idea that Schizophrenia is due to closeted bisexuality. I felt so degraded when I read the description of the book. What an idiot! It actually only gives a website to go to about the book which I believe was schizophrenia- thebeardedlady.com

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at September 3, 2006 10:45 PM