The Joy of Madness

Vows of Poverty

I was reading in a book yesterday that some people took vows of poverty in past lives and can't rid themselves of those feelings of obligation. These issues are held subconciously and manifest in the acceptance of poverty as the norm and people who don't believe they deserve compensation for their skills. There was one man who is an artist who held this core belief that he didn't feel worthy of abundance.

I am a bit down today because they haven't fixed my kitchen sink yet. The manager said that they would come on Thursday; but alas they did not. She hasn't even informed me of why they haven't been here or acknowleged it. So I am going to go bang on her door this morning and demand an answer. Now that it is Saturday they will probably have me wait until Monday to get service.

I went to see an apartment yesterday. It is a single and has a larger kitchen than mine does. It has a good size bathroom too. They advertised that it was renting for $750 but when I went to see it they said $795. That kind of bothered me. That would only save me $110 per month. But they do allow cats there and there is a fireplace and a large balcony. I wouldn't have any common walls with neighbors and the laundry room is just down the hall. It is upstairs too so that means that I wouldn't have people stomping all over the ceiling. When I eyeballed it I saw that I could fit my cal king bed and a sofa in there. I don't know if there really is a place for the dining table though. It is small though and has leaves that I can fold down. My dining chairs are breaking and I will need to buy new ones. They just put in a new stove there and I have my own refridgerator. I forgot to check for an air conditioner. That is important because this is a desert climate. I forget whether there is a window in the kitchen. I need there to be lots of light. I just must convince my mom that I need to move there. There is an alley that runs alongside my windows in this apartment which happens to be the only way to exit the parking lot. So there is a constant stream of cars. Also the red cross makes a lot of noise with their heavy trucks. They come at 6 a.m. and sometimes earlier. I am reliant on my mom as a cosigner because I don't make enough to rent on my own income.

I am trying to figure out if Petco is the right job or if I am really able to work with the pain going on. I will go to the interview and see how it seems.

I haven't made it to olive view med center to pick up my drugs. It takes at least 2 hrs one way to go there and I am afraid that there will be a problem there that causes me to wait a long time to get my prescription at their pharmacy. I am not impressed at all with the service there.

I just got a call from an old friend that I haven't spoken with for three years. We have known each other since '93 when we were both in day treatment at a local psych hospital. She doesn't live far from here it turns out. How exciting! She is going to pick me up in an hour or two and we will go back to her house.

Tonight is the Willie Nelson concert at The Hollywood Bowl. It starts at 8:30 p.m. I guess my mom will pick me up at 7 or 7:30. I can't wait.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at September 9, 2006 04:58 PM