The Joy of Madness

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Well I'm not feeling very well lately. The finger is still numb and I saw a Dr. on Monday. He was good. He said there is neuropathy and is trying to figure out why. He did an ekg and it was normal. He thought I might have pneumonia but it was just some buildup. (He did a chest x-ray) I was on my way to his appointment and I was walking in Canoga Park where they have all these antique stores and thrift stores and I became hot and got a tropical punch. I drank that at 2pm and became spacey and sweaty. He did a stick finger test for glucose and it was only 80. He discovered that I have a urinary tract infection. Yesterday I went to the clubhouse and I was feeling dizzy and decided I would go by bus rather that walk the mile and a half like I often do. I think the staff there thought I was doing drugs. They didn't offer to help me though or ask how I was feeling. I left because I wanted to avoid the ciggarette smoke.

My lungs are hurting. My mom came home from her travels yesterday and I spoke with her this morning. She told me to stay home today. She is going to drive me to his office in the morning to do the fasting blood test. I can't go alone. I might fall.

I'll be straight with you. I think my kidneys are failing. I don't know if I will make it to Christmas. So I am going to label the Christmas gifts I have stored in the closet.

My eyes have been painful lately so I scheduled an eye exam. I go lay down about 5pm now because I just need to rest them. I have been feeling this way for a few weeks. It's funny they finally took me off of those toxic antipsychotics and now I'm ill.

This happened to my friend Larry and he died maybe two years ago. He was on dialysis and only lived until about 60. The FDA should be ashamed for letting us drop like flies to make us tame. My friend Wendy is ill too. Her kidneys are all screwed up.

I was at the drs office on my way out and the nurse was asking when I might be able to return to do the blood test and I lost my mind. I forgot what day it was. She had to tell me it was Monday. I couldn't focus to know what my schedule was for the week. I was supposed to do jury duty now; but I can't.

I saw a friend while at the medical building and he just had stints put in his heart. He is only 50 or so. I can't help but wonder if it was the medicine they make us take. He said parting is such sweet sorrows. He said it doesn't have to be so sad right? I'll see you again right? So I really don't know.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at September 27, 2006 08:06 PM