The Joy of Madness

Update

I wanted to answer Maura who wrote with concerns over the long-term effects of antipsychotics. Some of the antipsychotics are bad for your heart. The one I am thinking of is Geodon. So if you have any kind of heart condition you are not supposed to take that. You should have an ekg every once in a while just to be safe anyway. You have to be your own watchdog on these things. I haven't been concerned about having regular blood tests because I haven't been on toxic Clozaril in years and I haven't been on Lithium in a while either. But I was on those and who knows exactly what is going on.
You figure the dr.s are looking out for your best interests; but many are in denial and just don't have time to order the tests.

My friend Wendy was in the mental hospital two years ago and a dr. decided to do a thorough blood panel for her kidneys. She had had no signs of anything being wrong with her health. They had been checking her kidneys on a regular basis because she was on lithium; but they neglected to give her the primo blood test that she needed. So now she is in stage 3 kidney failure. Her dr. told her it was the lithium. I know a lot of dr.s are in denial about side effects; but I guess that makes them able to live with themselves while they dole out these pills.

I went in on Thursday to do a fasting blood test and I passed out while they were drawing my blood. They were only able to take a half a tube of blood and that was insufficient for the test. So I will go again on Tuesday to try again. I think that I can go on the bus this time as long as I go eat right afterwards.

I am sad and frustrated right now. It is all a wait and see game and I want answers now. Friends are reassuring me; but some times that is annoying. Oh, your feet are getting a lot of cuts because they are puffy and have too much water. So I felt this friend was like little Mary sunshine.

I took a long walk yesterday and that was a mistake. My lungs began hurting and my legs and feet were hurting. So I just got the bus on my way back. Usually I can do the walk; but I just have to slow down. Today I might just buy a newspaper at a liquor store and stay home. I wanted to go walk around Balboa Lake;but that doesn't seem like a good idea today.

Today is a little cool here and it could even rain a little. I have been waiting for this. It is hard to do anything in extreme heat.

My mom and I went to the fair on Friday and it was a lot of fun just to forget about life for a day. We saw baby farm animals, juried art by kids, and some photography. We ate barbecue sandwiches and I bought some kettle corn to take home. We looked at shops in the Mexican Village. There was a band riding around on this trailer bed playing Eric Clapton songs. We also passed a Claypso band. There were a lot of funny things to see.

My mom and my good friend Tish are both going to Texas this coming week. That is kind of a bummer as they are my major support. They are going to different places and will be gone for two weeks.

Tomorrow I am going to see my mom again and we are going to see a movie. I think we will see The Science of Sleep. That looks really good. I have been looking forward to this movie opening for a while.

My friend Tish told me that I probably qualify for Medicare now and a little more money because my Dad just retired and so I can get some of his social security. It won't cut into his check though.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at October 1, 2006 05:17 PM