The Joy of Madness

Thrilled to Pieces

Hey I just wanted to thank Sarah for such a nice comment! I am so happy that someone actually reads me. Maybe I can get a few readers here.

I went to my clinic this week on Thursday for therapy and it turned out I was supposed to have been there Wednesday instead. Then I went to see my physician today and he turned me away because I was a half an hour late. I was supposed to have a physical for the day program I am supposed to be starting soon. I have to go back to the dr. on Tuesday. Bummer. I went in the rain and everything. It takes over an hour by bus to go to that dr. So I have been striking out a lot lately. I tried to go to leather crafting at the clubhouse yesterday and it was cancelled due to lack of interest.

I made this casserole that I used to make a lot called tamale pie and I am not thrilled with how it turned out this time. I have to get a microwave. When I was in the hospital and my mom went to pack my things to move them out of my last apartment; she decided not to bring certain things. She said the microwave was too dirty. I am irked about some of the things that are missing from my belongings. I was recalling some of my jewelry that is gone. I had a necklace with a baby phat cat on it and a ring with a big turqoise stone. Some of my wall art is gone too.

I called a friend the other night and she said that she was right in the middle of a printing project and couldn't speak to me. I haven't heard from her since. Who knows what is up with that.

I am going to eat with another friend tomorrow at Sizzler. We usually get the salad bar. On Sunday I am going to Canoga Park to visit a friend in her board and care and we will watch a video. I bought Delovely, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Man in the Moon. I borrowed Amelie from my mom. I don't know what she'll be in the mood to watch.

While I was living in the board and care in Altadena I went to a hamburger stand and a man asked me to eat with him. I wasn't on my medication entirely and was still a bit delusional. I thought that I was Martin Luther King Jr. reincarnated no kidding. LoL. Well anyway this guy gave me his phone number and really expected me to call him and told me about a job I could get in Pasadena. He had no clue that I was high as a kite. I wasn't that into him. But there was this sweet guy who worked at the board and care named Angel who I really do miss. I haven't got the foggiest idea how to contact him though.

My mom's house sold like a hotcake! She will be moving by the end of May if not sooner. Wow where does that leave me? I am excited for her; but I will not have any family here except for a cousin. I am considering moving back to the great state of Texas. I mean I really don't have anything going for me here.

I didn't say it before but I cut my own hair off while I was manic. I cut it really short. I am pretty embarassed about it. I got a trim for the first time since January the other day. I had to get it shaped into some style. It is still really short.

You know while I was in the hospital in October I really believed that I had been put in pergatory. I felt I knew everyone. I thought I was dealing with friends who have already passed away. It is really bizarre. I guess I am most ashamed of losing my other apartment and being verbally abusive toward my mom while I was sick. I don't know if my relationship with her will ever quite be the same again.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at April 21, 2007 01:14 AM