The Joy of Madness

Many Happy Returns

I have moved again. Now I am sharing a two bedroom townhome with someone and I am in a better location for buses and shopping. I didn't think that I would like it that much here; but it has not been bad. My roommate can be a little nosy at times but I guess I can handle it.

I applied for a job working at this clubhouse which is run by the organization where I see my shrink. I actually got the job but then they informed me that I would have to move out of this apartment if I accepted the job. Apparently they see a conflict of interest with me living in their transitional housing and working within the same agency. So I had to turn down the job. I am a little upset about it because I thought that the job was a good opportunity. I think I will continue my job search. I guess there is a maximum amount I can earn and live in this building.

I have also been considering vocational school and they have rules for my building that say you can't get any kind of student loans for school while living here. There may a way that I can get dept of rehabilitation to pay for my school. I will have to see what happens. I was thinking about studying physical therapy aide and then assistant.

My mom came into town last week and I got to see her yesterday. We had a really good time. We went to the lake and saw lots of birds including a few cranes. They were very beautiful. I saw some friends at the lake and that was nice.

A friend of mine passed away recently. He was the director of this organization that I used to work for and he and I went to Japan together in 1997. He had some kidney trouble due to medications. I won't be able to go to his memorial this Sunday though because I can't find a ride. It is taking place in a city that is hard to get to because it is very far from here.

I finally got a new shrink and she increased my Lamictal and added Lexapro which is the combination that I had last year before I stopped taking my medications. I hope that this new combo will improve my mood.

I borrowed my mom's video camera so that I can finally film this documentary on housing and people with mental illness. I have a list of questions I want to ask participants and they aren't all related to housing. I don't know exactly who to submit my film to; but I will hopefully figure it out. I want to show how we live in varying settings and we have a wide array of personalitites and dreams. If nothing more I would like to submit it to be seen by people with mental illness and also to professionals and families. The ultimate goal though would be to have it shown to the public at large perhaps on P.B.S. or something. Just thinking about this film gets me excited. I have been wanting to do this for two years.

I met a guy on the chatline and we spoke on the phone for a while and decided to meet. But then he said he wanted to meet me at my house and soon after that he started asking to sleep over. I had to call off that meeting. I met another guy at the lake one day and there just wasn't any chemistry between us. I talked to one guy on the phone for an hour or so and he explained the law of attraction to me. The law states that you draw to you what you think about or talk about all the time. If you focus your attention on you lack of money then you will draw that to you. I found this fascinating. We spoke last week; but he hasn't called me back. So I guess easy come easy go.

Posted by Butterfly Emerging at September 19, 2007 07:43 PM