The Joy of Madness

Surprise and Awe

God, Noreen you really touched me. I mean I am really moved by what you wrote. I feel so much joy and love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Great gift for today. Who knew that folks in Austrailia were reading this.

We have been having thunderstorms since last night. I am supposed to go help a friend who has just finished surgery; but she hasn't called yet. I am actually kind of happy for the weather change because it makes it easier to take walks (when there is no rain) and I get to wear sweaters and my new cranberry colored cape. I swear it was just Friday when we had 95 degree weather. Now it is winter.

My Mom is thrilled about my new diagnosis. She congratulated me. Yes Mom I may have graduated. But to be honest this doesn't change much. I will get to dump some pills; but I haven't quite figured out how else to deal with this. I am considering hypnotherapy.

I am doing Christmas shopping. I have a few gifts bought. I still need to buy a gift for my Grandpa and my Aunt as I think they will be here for Christmas.

My Aunt Pat in Houston is feeling much better and doesn't need a liver transplant. My whole family is thrilled and she just turned 60. My Mom and my Aunt Nancy flew to Houston to be with her.

I still kind of fantasizing about buying a condo. I learned of a program which pays a silent second of $90,000. That means that you only have to qualify for the amount above $90,000. So if I want to buy a condo for 200,000 then I only have to qualify for a laon of 110,000. Then they give you a low interest rate. It is 4.25%. My Mom would have to cosign though since my credit is not good. I could wind up with a mortgage that is less than 30% of my income. Home prices are sky high now though so for $160,000 here I could get 500 square feet. Like a studio or a one bedroom. I don't know how small that is exactly but I know it is smaller than my current apt.

I went to LA unified school district classified office and picked up the application. They said that they don't keep records of past employees and the hours they worked so I must get a letter stating that I have completed 600 hours of experience with disabled children or adults. So I will get that in the next few days and then go take the test. I am very excited about that.

New Diagnosis

Today I got exciting news! I was rediagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with depression and psychotic features. I feel like someone has just given me a billion dollars worth of hope. I now see a brighter future for myself. My Dr. is reducing my Abilify and increasing my Lexipro. Maybe I can maintain without the antipsychotics and I will not have to endure the weight gain and the tardive dyskinesia that I have been experiencing for so long now. Also, without so many drugs maybe I will feel up to driving again. I am still having pain which my shrink associates with my life experience with abuse. Tomorrow I am going to get a ride to apply for my old position with the school district. I want to start out working 3 hour shifts in Special Ed. Pre-K. Then if I begin to feel better I may graduate to a longer day.

I am sure that I will be accepted to the new subsidized building. I am going to be moving in January. The new building will have a rooftop garden and a community room for all of us to congregate. Other than that I really don't know what features the individual apartments have. We will each be given a parking space. The building is still in this zip code;but not on such good bus lines. Maybe they will allow pets there.

I watched Love Actually last night and it was really good. A good laugh and warm and fuzzy also.

I signed a petition to oust Bush which is on changeworldnow.org
You too can go there and be a part of this movement. There is also a walk out on November 2nd.