The Joy of Madness

Test Patterns and Jackolanterns

So I thought I might have a Halloween party; but I changed my mind because I couldn't afford it. I have to provide for everything now on my own so it is a bit of an adjustment. I am not crying about it though because lord knows I should be self-sufficient by now. Maybe with my new job I can afford to give a Christmas party. I love holiday parties. I can burn some scented oil and make the house smell great and decorate with pinecones and swags from pine trees. I also could wrap the staircase in ribbons and bells. So I can't wait to give another party.

I went to get oriented at my new job today. It was really straight forward and my client explained her needs and the duties of the job which include giving her her medicine, cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and accompanying her on her trips into the community. She is saving up for a computer and I told her that she can go to the library to use the internet for free until she gets her own computer. I just had an idea that there might be grants for people with disabilities to get computers. If not then maybe there is someone who would donate a computer to her. I might try that on Craigslist. She said she loves to go to the mall to shop for Christmas gifts.

I finally received an application and job bulletin from an agency near me that works with people with autism and other developmental disabilities. I browsed the bulletin and found a position I want to apply for. It is only 9 hours per week and the days are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So I guess it would be between 3-6 p.m. or something like that. Then if I got the job I would have 25 hours of work per week. This agency helps pay for college tuition I believe. They actually have a job that is 35 hours a week but I already took the other 16 hr job.

I won't have anyone to eat Thanksgiving with this year so I will probably cook for myself and whatever poor soul doesn't have anywhere else to eat. I would like to spend Christmas downtown where they have this big performance all day with different people singing and dancing.

I bought the cd of Sergio Mendes songs covered by other groups called Timeless. It is so cool. I love to dance to it. Right now I have Latin Lounge by Putumayo on. I am listening to a song that goes Tu si sabes como bailar mi negra tu si que sabes como bailar mi negrita. Anyway I love it! I got some good deals on used stuff on Amazon. Of course now I have four dollars in my wallet and 200 in savings so that I can move again someday. I went to the 99 cent store today and found some big fat fresh asparagus in a rubber band. That I shall have tomorrow with my baked chicken. I will bake the bird and stuff it with some stuffing I bought at the 99. It is Pepperidge Farms. I got chicken broth for some Matzoh ball soup and some cereal like puffed rice with sugar. Sorry I'm boring you. I got excited because I only spent $8.

So I talked to one guy who kept e-mailing me after that craigslist ad I put out a month ago and he turned out to be a freak. He started talking sexy right away. He kept saying you know you know you know and yep yep yep and he said he has tattoos and calls them body art. He wanted to know if I have red panties, bra,etc and am I open minded. He says he likes to take a shower with a woman and help her bathe. Oh yeah and he kept using the f word. Lovely eh? All that in 15 minutes. Disgusting. Just another waste of my time. He was 40 going 12 I swear.

I found a new meeting to go to for Bipolar people that will be happening somewhere near me. I found them on Meetup.com. The meeting is next month. I think that that is exciting. I need to meet new people God only knows.

October 22, 2007

I had a slow weekend due to the fact that I came down with a bit of a cold.

I met this guy on craigslist and it turned out he only wants a friends with benefits situation. I told him to get lost. I met him two weeks ago and he just told me that.

I got all my paperwork squared away for i.d. purposes for this new job I should start this weekend. When I applied to get a new social security card they neglected to give me a form with my name and social security number on it so I have to go back tomorrow and ask for it. I will fax it over to the headquarters tomorrow afternoon. I signed paperwork to get put into the company payroll and learned about policies etc. I guess I will start training on the first day I work which should be Saturday. They told me that for now I will have 16 hours per week but that if I increase my hours to 30 a week that I can get benefits. I am eligible for more hours if someone is out and they need a sub.

So far what I know about my client is that she has very nice speech and she is very intelligent. She is on dialysis and so is tired a lot. She needs me to cook and clean for her and accompany her to places in the community on Access services which is a transportation service for disabled people here in Los Angeles County. I really feel like this job might be a winning situation.

I joined netflix and will get "Everything is Illuminated" (the movie)
tomorrow. I am excited that the price is very low and I have access to viewing movies on my computer instantly. Those movies that are available for play on the computer are a little more limited however.

My Grandpa is mailing a book to me that a relative wrote during the American Civil War. He said it gets gorey sometimes but that it is a good book.

There are nine days left in the month and I only have $32 left in my checking. I will have to figure out where I need to spend my money. I have money in savings and am trying to save $100 per month. It is so tempting to get into the savings though. I must save towards a new apartment. When I have saved about $2,500 I will be able to afford my deposit and some new furniture. I should be able to save $150 or $200 per month when I am earning some income.

I want to write a poem about me in relation to animals I have known in my lifetime. I have had some terrific experiences with animals over the years. I would love to have a dog or a cat; but I live in a building that doesn't allow them. I have heard that if we get a dr.'s letter we can have a companion animal for a disabled person. I have dreams where I have a pet or I see my pets that have passed away over time. I miss having a pet. We have a stray cat here that just had kittens and we have been instructed not to feed them. I am pretty sure that people are feeding them though.

This week I would really love to get to a museum, the central library and to a park to walk and see the birds.

Pea Soup

I don't like pea soup; but I kind of like the weather we are having today which is sometimes referred to as pea soup.

Today I am going to cook chicken noodle soup. I stopped on my way home and got four cans of broth so that I can make it. It should be perfect today. My roommate loves to eat my cooking. I think I should charge her a fee.

So I took the drug test for the job and now I just have to get my new i.d. and social security card so that I can begin being processed. So I have an appointment at the department of motor vehicles tomorrow at 3:30 to get a new i.d. On Wednesday I will apply for my social security card and at the same time change my name back to my maiden name.

I went to a wedding over the weekend and it was kind of fun. It was conducted in Spanish so I was translating everything in my head and trying to figure out if these were the same things said in my wedding. If nothing else, I got to get dressed up. I wanted to catch the bouquet; but we forgot to wait until the bride threw it. Pathetic huh?

We still don't know when we will have to move to a motel so that our building can be tented for termites.

In the book The Golden Vein one assignment is to write 20 things you want to manifest in your life. I can't seem to come up with 20 things. They can be spiritual, material, intellectual, artistic or whatever. This is what I want: A chair for my room, money, a scholarship to UCLA, a feeling of love and belonging in the world, to read a novel, write a play, write another poem, to live without pain, to have more energy and stamina,make new friends, to meet the man of my dreams. So I'm on my way with wishes and desires.

My significant other is a computer.

OK I picked that up off of yahoo.

I went to therapy on Thursday and it was pretty beneficial to me. I mean who doesn't like being selfish and talking about themselves while someone else listens. So she was getting paid for it; but where else can you gossip and know that it goes nowhere.

So my building has termites. Yeah so we will all be carted off to a hotel soon to stay for a little while. We have no word yet when we will be asked to vacate. I guess the food has to be wrapped up or something.

There was a murder by shot gun outside my apartment building a week ago. My neighbor saw it happen. Well actually she heard the gunshots and then saw these men stuffing this body into the trunk of a car. I guess it was dark. I'm glad no one saw her. It doesn't feel safe here anymore. The neighbors have seen many drug deals outside.

Tonight I am listening to Dead Can Dance. Now I must find Autumn things to do. No more summer concert series or Shakespeare in the Park. Ah well. I want to start doing some crafts now. I really enjoy gourd crafting.

I went to a job interview today. It is a caregiver position. They said I have to take a drug test. I don't think they can discriminate against me with the meds. I wish I didn't have to worry about such a thing. The position is 16 hours a week Saturday and Sunday only. I really hope I get it. It sounds fun.

I went to a church picnic on Saturday and it was fun. It was for my friend's church. Do you think it is kosher for churches to do outreach to the homeless in particular? Because it struck me as kind of funny that they said they did outreach to a homeless couple and then gave them food. I thought well how do you know they don't already have a religion or know God. Isn't that kind of a false idea that simply because you are homeless that you have lost your way with God? It is sort of self-righteous to assume that homeless people need more coaching than others on religion. I asked my friend if they had been given resources on where they could sleep? She said no. That is what they needed most.

On Sunday I went to my friend's house and we went to an Armenian grocery store where she treated me to some very delicious pastries. We got two and split them. We got Tiramisu and almond cake. To die for. I picked up some sweet bread, some nuts with a spicy, hard coating, golden raisens, and some Falafel mix. We started watching Little Miss Sunshine; but we couldn't finish it. I saw it before in the theater and it was really good.

Chatty Cat

I have been calling this telephone number to meet men since July and have really been meeting some interesting and weird people. I had a guy named Robert tell me on our first date that he had killed someone in a bar room brawl. He said that he had been stalked by a woman he met on the line while he was still married and hadn't yet begun his separation. He isn't the only one I met that was doing that before the divorce. That is pretty creepy if you ask me. This guy is an actor and told me he was going to be on CSI the last time we spoke. I guess a creepy guy for a creepy show.

I met a guy a couple of weeks ago named Benny who asked me too many personal questions. He wanted a little tour of my body over the phone. Freak. He asked to sleep over on the first date so I told him I didn't want to meet him.

I talked to a guy named William who said he has a girlfriend but doesn't mind talking to me on the phone because all relationships should start with friendships. I told him thank you I enjoy being runner up if this thing you are in doesn't work out. I mean duh! Strange. What planet is he living on? Oh and he talks. I mean it is really not like a conversation. It is like a silliloque. I hope I spelled that right; but don't think so. Anyhow I like a guy with a good sense of humor and who laughs. You can tell jokes but be dry as hell. I mean silly is a good thing, right? He asked me to tell him a joke and I thought of the one my friend and I made up that I have put in my blog before. How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One and their imaginary friend. But as you can imagine I didn't tell that one.

I had another guy leave me a message to ask what was my most embarrasing moment and I immediately thought of once when I was in the hopsital and I was wearing a cloth gown while my clothes were in the washing machine. I was at the front of the line getting night meds and my gown opened up in front of everyone. That was all I had on. I go oh, sorry I didn't mean to flash you. I didn't even worry about thinking of a presentable story to tell him though because his personal ad mentioned some strange type of party he likes to go to and he was looking for someone to go with. I am getting tired of meeting these so-called normal people.