Silent Storms

I think I can: The power list

Last week's blog focused on the wisdom or lack thereof that could be found in the therapeutic profession. It is true that not all of us have the luxury of shopping around for a good therapist who will understand our needs. This week I would again like to address this important issue: what can you do within your means to improve matters?

Too often we feel powerless against the wave of inadequate therapy resulting from state budgets and personal financial shortages. Our therapist for example, while showing initial promise, caused my Darling to fall right back into his denial. At least I'm no longer in denial!

The first important thing to do in the face of this is take away the feeling of helplessness.

Make a list of the things you wish you could do to improve your own or your partner's therapy or overall situation, but can't. Things on this list could for example include a therapist who is not very understanding, drug side-effects, a partner who is unwilling to take the medication, etc. Now put this list aside.

Next, on a separate sheet, make a list of the things you can do. This may require some thought, but you will soon see that you had more power than you thought. An example could be talking as honestly as possible to your partner. Make the sufferer aware that you do not want to play the parent, but rather the partner. Talk to him about the therapist and things that may be bothersome about the particular professional.

Another item on the list could be talking to the therapist, both with and without your partner, about the problems you are experiencing.

Further items may be keeping yourself and your partner as physcially healthy as possible, or even finding a hobby that you can enjoy together or on your own.

Even the smallest thing that you can do is empowering when you see it on paper. If any of the above things are tried and do not work out (especially the talking part), simply cross it from the list, knowing you gave it your best shot.

Try to add at least one item per day to the power list.

When you have made your list of things you can do, burn the other list. Replace an attitude of "I can't" with "I can". Little may change initially, but you'll feel more positive, and be in a position to make more creative choices. Ultimately a more positive attitude is better for both you and your partner.

Posted by cathi at March 25, 2004 10:30 AM | TrackBack