A Daughter's Story

Times of Uncertainty, However Remain Focused!

Hello to all of you today. Daughterfirstborn is here again, appreciating the privilege of sharing wholesome and vital information. At present, situations are very uncertain and have been for the past week and a half. Despite that fact, let all of us continue to think of one another and hope for the best. My father is still bent on not taking is meds, he is still in a state of extreme paranoia, he wants to remain within four walls twenty-four seven, and he is really difficult to deal and communicate with effectively at this point. He is not getting any better. He needs either a sincere visit to the psychiatrist to get back on a medication regimen or a hospitalization to start receiving injections. According to the latest Psychiatry 24x7 newsletter which can be received through email, most persons who are schizophrenics are refusing more than ever to take their medication and have to be hospitalized over again which is resulting in more medical costs. My father has a known record of going in for treatment for a week or two, promising to take his meds when he is released for home, then he does not follow through. I cannot go to my father's apartment and hand feed him his meds; he simply does not want the Abilify and the Aricept. He takes his medication for high blood pressure and his vitamins. So, therefore that is telling me that he takes what he wants to take and does not take what he does not want to take. It is plain and simple. I have no control over the matter, as much as I would like to. I have been grieving silently lately, drowning in tears unseen. Remember, in my earlier entries, I have illnesses that I have to take care of so that I can stay healthy and that includes medication daily. I have my college studies to complete at home, thanks to my generous professors. Also, I am working on my autobiography, which will be my first book to be published, with a goal to be released in the year 2005. My book will be dedicated to my father and to this website and to the future for any schizophrenia research. I will have a portion of the proceeds of the book to go to schizophrenia.com and to the webmaster of this site.

April is National Poetry Month and as promised in my last entry, here is a poem that was written by me in the year 2001 in reference to my father. It is entitled 'Almost Lost My Dad'. Someone may relate to this poem; it may help someone; please read it. Here it is:

ALMOST LOST MY DAD

In December, I almost lost my dad
But he would not tell me so
Something strange was happening for
a week. I would call him and he would
not speak on the phone
Hello, Hello, I would say;
Little did I know that the voices would not
go away. He would not let me know
I tried to get him some help, but to no avail
He feared the police were after him; just like
in Washington DC
Paranoia, it's part of his plan
Voices, Voices, go away
My dad is not ready to depart today
To get better he must get some help
So he won't hear "them" for a while
What were "they" telling him to do?
No, I saved my Father and he is around
TODAY!

sdw(2001) this was written after my father suffered for a whole
week before deciding he needed to seek help at a local hospital
and I am deeply grateful that he did so.

I wish that he would make the effort to get the help now because
he is older and he has a form of dementia along with the schizophrenia.
Remember, some things we have no control over. We can only hope
and remain focused on life at hand. Continue to cherish our loved
one(s) and do what we can and what we can't, let it be. Until next time,
daughterfirstborn is saying goodbye until next time. All of you, have
a very good week, focus on the good!

Tuesday (am)