A Father's Experience

Proud Moment

I sent the following email to all my family and friends:

For some, there is nothing worse than a parent who boasts about their child as if no other existed. If you are one of those people, then delete this email right now, because I can hardly contain my pride for Lisa today. I took work off to take care of Lisa’s mental health issues, while she took care of her academic issues at Western Michigan University. She had been accepted into their engineering department. We went to the financial aid and housing office to make sure everything was in order for her to attend school in the fall. I have to admit, I was not looking forward to this day. As a worrisome parent, I was afraid that history would repeat itself and Lisa might be disappointed again as all her well intended efforts might fail again. Of course, I am proud of all her efforts she has made as she has persisted to forge ahead. Late morning, we went to the Office of Disability Services. I immediately explained my position on guardianship. I would not use it unless I absolutely had to (incase of emergency or when they felt my signature should accompany Lisa’s). The director shifted her eyes back and forth to see how Lisa was responding to the fact that her father was speaking for his 27 year old daughter. She knew right away that we must have had a special relationship and trust, and that I would never intentionally infringe on her rights. She soon realized that, in fact, I would be one of her strongest advocates to help her achieve whatever her potential might be. That was one of the only times I spoke today or attended any of her appointments. Lisa was a take charge person today. She took care of her business with an assertiveness and maturity that I had never seen in her before. My “baby” is growing up! You would never have seen a more proud father than the one that existed today! I am sure we all have similar stories to share about our children. Thanks for letting me share mine.

Fred

Going Away to School Once Again

I have been so proud of Lisa lately. She has been getting straight A's in college and she soon will get a bachelors degree in Liberal Arts. She plans to eventually pick up where she has left off and get a degree in chemical engineering. Part of her success of staying on her meds has been with the help of the ACT team which consists of mental health professionals that come in and monitor her meds. She wants to stop the service, but I have reminded her that in the past she has stopped her meds when she has gotten stressed out or tired. She agreed, for this reason, it would be a good idea to continue this service until she has gotten a degree (and perhaps a job in her chosen field). If she continues to be successful, I'd like to phase out being her guardian. 90% of the time, I do not use my guardianship, which is probably illegal. I intended only to use it to get quick help for her if she goes into the hospital. It makes the difference between 4 plus hours to get admitted and receiving immediate help. Lisa hasn't ventured out on this type of mission since she first had problems trying to get through college in the 90's. It is hard for me not to be a parent and be worried about this. And yet, I cannot not let her go. It is Lisa's and my goal to see her as a self-sufficient adult.